LIFE IS A CRUEL AND UNFAIR PLACE, RIGHT? Basically, you’ve been told that from day 1…or experienced it firsthand.
While a ton of circumstances in life are beautiful and lovely and happy squishy things, a lot isn’t necessarily easy.
WELL, IMAGINE BEING SOCIALLY AWKWARD, OKAY??
EVERYTHING IS HARD TIMES 1,000,000. So, if you aren’t socially awkward, here is a bit of what it’s like.
Going to the library:
As a socially awkward bookworm, this is a happy place. A quiet place. A solitary place. Basically, it’s a sanctuary for you and your best friends (who aren’t people).
BUT THEN DISASTER STRIKES.
You’re looking for a specific Dickens book, but it is nowhere to be found. The online catalogue says it’s in the Fiction section under “Dic” BUT GUESS WHAT?
YOU JUST CAN’T FIND IT.
It isn’t in it’s usual place where the other Dickens books are (two shelves to the right on the second row).
You’ve looked in the YA section, the Juvenile Fiction section, and even the stinking children’s section for pity’s sake. You’ve scoured every inch of the library, but know you just must be missing something.
Naturally, you go ask the nice librarian lady at the front desk, right?
UM, ABSOLUTELY NOT THAT IS A GIANT RED FLAG RIGHT THERE AND WOULD PROBABLY MEAN THE END OF THE WORLD.
So you’re just standing there, frozen. You need that Dickens book (because who doesn’t?) but there is no possible way to get it.
So you decide to settle for an audiobook, maybe. Unless they don’t have that either, in which case you travel to Europe to go get it.
Just as you’re walking out of the library, you see someone checking out a Dickens book–the EXACT ONE you were looking for– and faintly hear them saying in an all-too-cocky tone, “Thanks for finding it for me, it wasn’t in it’s usual place. I would’ve never found it on that corner shelf.”
HOW????? AND WHO PUTS A DICKENS BOOK ON A CORNER SHELF ANYWAY?!?!
Your instincts tell you to go punch that stinker right in the nose but your introverted side tells you to GET OUT OF THERE BEFORE THEY REALIZE WHAT A FAILURE YOU ARE.
It’s tough out there, kids.
At a wedding:
Oh, yay, they’ve said their vows and everything is hunky dory. Let’s go.
Everyone: “RECEPTION TIIIIIIIMEEEE!!!!!!”
You: *shrinks to the size of a pea* “Plz no.”
Everyone: “C’MON IT’LL BE SO FUN!”
Everyone: “THERE WILL BE DANCING AND SOCIALIZING AND GAMES!”
You: “I’m good.”
Everyone: “BUT YOU NEED TO GET OUT THERE AND HAVE FUN ONCE AND A WHILE!”
You: *awkward laugh* “No thanks.”
Everyone: *uses physical force and literally tries to drag you to the party*
You: *suddenly finds superhero courage* “I SAID NO. NOW YOU WILL FACE MY DRAGON WRATH, MORTALS! I WILL TEAR YOU APART AND FEED YOU TO MY PIRANNAHS!”
Everyone: *blink* *blink*
You: *pulls out book from purse* I’ll just be over here if anyone needs me.
So, yeah, this is just EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Next post is going to be a legitimate plea for Civil Rights for the Socially Awkward BECAUSE YOU CAN PREVENT TRAUMA IN AN INTROVERT’S LIFE.
This has been a public service announcement by the SAPA (Socially Awkward People of America) (It also kinda sounds like Sopapilla) (Mmmm Sopapillas)